Hi all,
I'd like to share with you something that I do that helps me. Of course the fact that I believe that Dan has gone on, and that he close by, makes this even more helpful, however, it is my feeling that it will help you either way. I call it The Love Infusion.
I usually do this lying down in my bed but sitting in a chair or on the couch is fine. Here is what I do. I imagine that Dany is standing at the foot of my bed. I say in my mind, "I can't see you, but I know you're here." Then I start my deep breathing, inhaling slowly and exhaling thoroughly. As I breathe in I try to feel the cool air as it passes by the tip of my nostrils and as I exhale I feel the warm air as it passes out. In and out, in cool, out warm...in cool, out warm. Then I add these words and this visualization. As I exhale I think "I love you, I love you, I send you this love", and I envision the love and energy flowing outward from me to Dan. Then, on the inhale I envision Dan saying the same words to me and sending me his love. As I imagine him saying those same words to me, "I love you, I love you, I send you this love," I envision drawing the loving energy into myself as I inhale. I go back and forth with each inhale and exhale, sending and receiving this loving energy.
That is basically all that there is to the exercise. On the inhale you receive his or her love, on the exhale you send out yours. No matter what you believe, the exercise is helpful. Certainly the exhale is easy and natural to do. We have always directed our love to our children from the time of their birth, and so we are simply continuing to do so. I believe that they benefit greatly from any love sent to them so this part feels natural and easy. Imagining receiving their love on the inhale may be a stretch for some of you, but it helps anyway.
Some days when I am feeling down I think I hear Danny say, "Oh Sheri", (he loved to call me by my first name) just do an infusion" and so I do and it lifts some of the sorrow. I invite all of you to try it and please, keep me posted as to how this works for you. The whole point of this blog is for us to come together and support each other so please do write in. Also, this can be done with living children as well, especially if they are away or it you are having some difficulty relating to them. So, give it a try!
I recently made up some small business type cards to pass around in order to spread word about our blog site. If any of you would like some to pass around in your community, please give me your mailing address and I will gladly send some out to you.
I send out my love and blessings to all of you on this rainy Sunday morning and hope to hear from you soon,
Be well,
Love,
Sheri
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Hi All,
I’m excited to tell you these stories. One of them has to do with what I referred to earlier as “The running dialogue” that fills my mind from time to time, especially when I am feeling sad. The other story has to do with signs that occasionally happen, signs that appear as objects right out here in the physical world. How these things are achieved I do not know, only that they do happen. I am telling these two stories simultaneously because they tie together in the end.
The first story begins a few days after Danny died. I was lying in bed unable to get out. I ached so badly that it hurt to breathe. I opened up my laptop to hunt down one of those deep breathing meditation exercises that I knew were in my I tunes when my eyes were drawn to a song on the list entitled Free Bird. I didn’t know the song and had only recorded it because I liked the soundtrack that it was on, but now I wanted to hear it. I was drawn to hear it and I wanted to know what the lyrics said. So, I hit on it and this is what I heard:
If I leave here tomorrow would you still remember me? I must be travelling on now cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see. If I stay here with you now, things just couldn’t be the same. Cause I’m free as a bird now and this bird you cannot change. No, this bird you can not change. Lord knows I can’t change. Lord knows I can’t change.
“Wow”, I thought. “This really could be Dan speaking”. I played it again, and again. There was something about it that just pulling me in. Again and again I played it. “Okay, I thought, “You’re my Free Bird. From now on I’m going to call you Free Bird”. And I did. I began to think of Danny as Free Bird and hoped that he was feeling more free than he had in this life. I told the family about this, so it was not a secret.
The next story took place a couple of weeks later. Jerry had decided to play golf that day at the golf club close to where we used to live. It was late in the afternoon on a warm summer day and I felt the desire to leave the city and stay close to him. I don’t like to play golf myself, but I desired to sit in the golf cart and watch the sun set over the plush greens. Now that we had moved back to the city, this was a touch of country for me. So, we headed out together and traveled the familiar trip back to the old neighborhood. As we pulled off the highway at the Ardsley exit, the familiarity triggered my memories of living there with Dan and the pain began to rise up on the inside wall of my chest. “Danny used to drive his car down this street…Danny liked that Duncan Donuts…Danny’s friends must miss him not riding through town…Danny and I did this! Danny and I did that”. All these thoughts flooded my mind and I could hardly breathe when I hear these words, in my own voice, but these words: “Mom stop idealizing me! It was not a bed a roses and it wasn’t going to be. The truth is, I slept half the day and when I woke up I could be very grouchy to you. In the evenings I often went out with my friends. Look at it this way, now I am with you practically all the time. Look mom, you used to worry about me all day. Now you miss me but if you would let me in and realize that I am right here inside, you don’t have to be so sad.” I was really blown away by this because everything he said was true and it made sense. Part of me wanted to brush it off and just sit there crying, but I couldn’t. I felt this huge sense of comfort and I wanted to go with it.
Soon we pull up to the club. Jerry goes off to change and I head to the bench near the first tee. As I approach the path leading to my destination I see a few men standing around their golf carts in the distance. My first thought was, “Oh no. I’ve just been crying my eyes out. I must be a mess, all red in the face and puffy”…when I hear this: “Mom, they are probably assholes why do you care?” Now that was so Danny that I started to laugh out loud and I thought, “Well, they might not be assholes Danny, but why do I care anyway?” And I decided not to check my mirror and brave it! Was Danny making his old lady courageous? What a concept! I wasn’t sure what was happening but I felt much better and I allowed myself to enjoy the warm ride in the open cart with the birds singing as the sun slowly set and I felt that Danny was glad.
And now to the conclusion that ties the two stories together. Twenty minutes later Jerry and I are driving back to the city on the Henry Hudson Parkway, parallel to the Hudson River. I’m still feeling warmed by the experience of connecting with Danny, but I’m wondering, “Couldn’t this just be my own inner self trying to soothe me through this? How do I know this is really Danny? The mind can play so many tricks on you, especially when you are so sad.” And then I had a wild idea. I said to Danny, in my head of course, “Okay Danny, if this is really you and not just my inner self talking to me, give me a sign. I just need a sign”. No sooner had I finished saying that than I had the impulse to look at the Hudson River. I was astonished! Right there in front of my eyes was a white sail boat with the words FREE BIRD written across the side of the boat in bold royal blue letters! I grabbed Jerry’s arm and screamed “Look” and he was able to view it momentarily before he drove past it. I was so glad that Jerry saw it too!
It is easy to doubt, but at this point I decided to stay open to those thoughts, whenever they came and to heed them when they make sense, which to date has been always. As a result my own healing has been accelerated and through the Glenn Dove sessions Dan has confirmed that these communications help his growth and healing too. That is why I encourage all of you to initiate these conversations. You may not believe that you will be able to hear your child, but there is considerable relief in just saying the words of love that you feel to him or her with even just a small hope that they can hear you. And from what I am learning, they not only can hear us but it helps them to be acknowledged and receive these thoughts of love. And if that’s remotely possible, you might as well try it, for their sake as well as your own.
I must stop for now. Soon I will post instructions for doing “The Love Infusion”. That helps too. Please remember to sign in and post your thoughts. I’m dying to hear from you.
All best,
Sheri
I must stop for now. Soon I will post instructions for doing “The Love Infusion”. That helps too. Please remember to sign in and post your thoughts. I’m dying to hear from you.
All best,
Sheri
Monday, March 16, 2009
Hi to all,
I want to thank Ruth for sharing so openly with us what she has been experiencing lately. In response, I want to say that I think Ruth, you are experiencing the full brunt of mourning. I don't think you need professional help for an understandably normal response to losing a son so young. I know of a woman who was a grief counselor by profession and counseled people all of her adult life and when she lost her daughter, as the story has it, she practically had to be hospitalized! There is just no way to get around it. The pain at times is excruciating!
I think that for now, you should not pressure yourself in any way.....It's okay to be a basket case. My son Aaron tells me that I have at least one year to sit on my ass and do nothing if need be. And to hell with anyone who can't understand that. On the other hand, you might consider finding a local bereavement group because baby, you need some nurturing support and as much as I am hoping to provide some of that through this blog site, putting yourself in a space with women, especially other bereaved mothers, might just be the most healing thing you can do for yourself. My friend runs a bereavement group in lower Westchester called Compassionate Friends. I love that name because it describes just what the group provides; friends who have that compassion in good measure.
In an earlier comment you mentioned that many local friends have disappeared. You said it made you wonder if they thought having an adult son with cancer was catching. You may have hit on something there. It is not that people really think that cancer or death are contageous, but because they fear it so, they just go out of their way to avoid dealing with it and that can mean dealing with us. And there are those who believe that if it is in their conscious awareness, that it is actually more more likely to happen. And so their only recourse is to stay away and not get their hands too wet. It is best if we learn to not take this stuff personally for it is not so much about us as it is about them and the fact that their fear out ways their compassion. That is why, at these times, support groups can be very very helpful. No one there is lacking in compassion.
So, dear Ruth, I send my love and compassion and understanding out to you. I also ask for my other readers to hit the keyboard and share whatever support and wisdom you have to offer. We're all in this together.
Till next time, I bid you a fond good evening.
Love,
Sheri
I want to thank Ruth for sharing so openly with us what she has been experiencing lately. In response, I want to say that I think Ruth, you are experiencing the full brunt of mourning. I don't think you need professional help for an understandably normal response to losing a son so young. I know of a woman who was a grief counselor by profession and counseled people all of her adult life and when she lost her daughter, as the story has it, she practically had to be hospitalized! There is just no way to get around it. The pain at times is excruciating!
I think that for now, you should not pressure yourself in any way.....It's okay to be a basket case. My son Aaron tells me that I have at least one year to sit on my ass and do nothing if need be. And to hell with anyone who can't understand that. On the other hand, you might consider finding a local bereavement group because baby, you need some nurturing support and as much as I am hoping to provide some of that through this blog site, putting yourself in a space with women, especially other bereaved mothers, might just be the most healing thing you can do for yourself. My friend runs a bereavement group in lower Westchester called Compassionate Friends. I love that name because it describes just what the group provides; friends who have that compassion in good measure.
In an earlier comment you mentioned that many local friends have disappeared. You said it made you wonder if they thought having an adult son with cancer was catching. You may have hit on something there. It is not that people really think that cancer or death are contageous, but because they fear it so, they just go out of their way to avoid dealing with it and that can mean dealing with us. And there are those who believe that if it is in their conscious awareness, that it is actually more more likely to happen. And so their only recourse is to stay away and not get their hands too wet. It is best if we learn to not take this stuff personally for it is not so much about us as it is about them and the fact that their fear out ways their compassion. That is why, at these times, support groups can be very very helpful. No one there is lacking in compassion.
So, dear Ruth, I send my love and compassion and understanding out to you. I also ask for my other readers to hit the keyboard and share whatever support and wisdom you have to offer. We're all in this together.
Till next time, I bid you a fond good evening.
Love,
Sheri
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Hi Everyone,
I would really like to think of something else to call you besides "Everyone". As much as I love Stephen Colbert, I can't exactly call you "Nation". But I would like to think of something and I am asking for suggestions. Hi Friends, (boring) Hi Parents, (na) Hi Bereaved Parents, (yuk)
Hi Sirs, standing for still-in-relationship, (maybe)...Help me out here will you? Toss me some ideas through cyberspace. Okay? Thanks. And for anything else that might be on your mind please let us hear from you! I know there are many more of you reading this but not signing in and saying who you are. Understand that for all of us reading and writing on this site, it is an honor to hear from each of you; your stories, your thoughts, your feelings, your experiences. In a earlier blog there are some instructions for signing on, which I hope you will all do, so that you can post what you have to say under comments. In this way we can join forces and become a source of nurture for each other, something that we, as parents have learned to do. With that said, I will move on.
I want to talk about what I call the running dialogue that can flood my mind from time to time but especially when I am feeling extremely sad. I began to notice this happening within a day or two of Danny's passing. That is not to say that it didn't begin earlier, but I didn't notice it. And that is an important statement, because most of this type of stuff is available to all of us but on an inner subtler level and we have to begin to notice it. I understand that my adavntage here is that for 38 years, since the time I was healed by Harry Edwards and his team of healing spirits, I have believed in the presence of spirit. It is my wholehearted belief at this time in my life that personality definitely survives death. So, I am open to it. On the other hand, I am not a gifted psychic and anyone can do this if I can. That said, I will move on.
This is what I began to notice. I was probably thinking of that moment after Jerry kicked the chainlocked door open and we found Danny, dwelling on one of those scenes you should never go to, but know that you will. The pain was so great that I didn't know how I would bear it when I started to hear, "Oh mommy, don't do this to yourself. You're the kindest person I know. Be kinder to yourself. Don't go back there. I'm not there. I wasn't there when you got there. I'm not there now. There's nothing you could have done. This is not your fault. Be kinder to yourself...be kinder". I heard this in my own voice, it's not as if I heard Danny speaking, but I had these thoughts and they comforted me. Not only that, I tried to take the advice and fight the impulse to go back the his apartment in my mind.
I didn't know if this was a message from Dan or if it was from my inner self trying to comfort me but it made me wonder. Danny always used to tell me that I was too kind and that I was the kindest person he knew. I would never have said that to myself. And the message itself was so loving and kind that it made me feel better regardless of where it came from. And, of course, with my background, I'm less inclined than others to doubt it. I know that Danny hasn't been erased from the universe and that he has to be somewhere. I also know that as he is now a spirit without a physical body and I am a spirit in a physical body, and therefore the way we will be able to communicate now is from spirit to spirit where there is receptivity. And to hear the voice of the spirit I would have to listen to what I hear from the inside of myself. I would need to stop looking with my physical eyes for Danny and opening instead to the thoughts and ideas that were appearing on my inner screen.
Whenever I seemed to fall into a deep dark crevace, thoughts of comfort, love and support would enter my mind and I would listen to them and always they made me feel a little better every. Then on July 13, the thoughts were so strong that I felt impelled to write them down. I entitled it:
Words of Wisdom From Dan
You've got to develop a little bit more of the "fuck it" attitude. You can't sweat everything all the time. There is a medium ground between caring and not caring, the middle road where one cares, but not to the point of devastation. You will self destruct. I, in life, leaned too far to the not caring side and therefore could not adaquetly protect myself. You, on the other hand, can swing so far to the caring side that you do the harm to yourself without needing to put anything in your body.
I beg of you to lighten up, for your own sake as well as mine. Remember how you used to say that you are as happy as your most miserable child? Well, your misery can only bring me down because it fills me with remorse. I understand your dilemma but understand mine. If you want to help me, to lift me up, than lift yourself up and you lift us both up. You are a strong woman mom, stronger than you think. Pool all your resources now that have gotten you through in the past. Know that I love you and always will and that you are the one who always said, "Love is the only thing that spans the grave".
There will be time for us to venture forward and for me to join you in your work, as you have always known I would. Give me some time to get my bearings and I will come through for you time and time again. We will grow stronger and in time you will walk with both feet solidly on the ground, knowing that I am by your side at all times.
If you must cry mommy, then cry for all those who are suffering now, they are all over the place; the lost and lonely ones, the poor and hungry ones, the sick and disabled ones, the oppressed and
forsaken ones. Don't cry for me, for I am okay and so are you. This separation, as you see it, is temporary and nothing so tragic has happened here. This is the life we lead, one that incorporates death and surely as it encapsulates birth and one cannot exist without the other.
Go forward in peace and trust that I am with you and that you have not been forsaken, you are only experiencing another facet of life that many have experienced before you and that many shall experience after you, the loss of a child. But those children are only lost to you in the flesh. In spirit each is alive and vital. If only you could see just a small glimpse more than you do. But remember, faith is belief in that which is not visible. If it were self evident, why would there be any need for faith?
I leave you now with the fervent prayer that you rise up and live up to the knowledge that you have worked so hard to cultivate. I know that you will think these are big words for me, but it is your vocabulary that makes this possible. I just send you the impression. You flesh it out in words.
Mommy, I love you more than ever. Can you feel it? Open up your heart and feel it. It is stronger than the pain. Like you always said, love is the strongest, most powerful force in the universe, the only thing that really makes life worth living, SO FEEL IT NOW.
That concludes the Words of Wisdom piece. I have divised a great love exchange exercise that I call "The Love Infusion" which I created shortly after hearing Danny talk about feeling the love between us. I have to end this for now, I will be back soon. Please, let me hear from you.
With love and best wishes,
Sheri
I would really like to think of something else to call you besides "Everyone". As much as I love Stephen Colbert, I can't exactly call you "Nation". But I would like to think of something and I am asking for suggestions. Hi Friends, (boring) Hi Parents, (na) Hi Bereaved Parents, (yuk)
Hi Sirs, standing for still-in-relationship, (maybe)...Help me out here will you? Toss me some ideas through cyberspace. Okay? Thanks. And for anything else that might be on your mind please let us hear from you! I know there are many more of you reading this but not signing in and saying who you are. Understand that for all of us reading and writing on this site, it is an honor to hear from each of you; your stories, your thoughts, your feelings, your experiences. In a earlier blog there are some instructions for signing on, which I hope you will all do, so that you can post what you have to say under comments. In this way we can join forces and become a source of nurture for each other, something that we, as parents have learned to do. With that said, I will move on.
I want to talk about what I call the running dialogue that can flood my mind from time to time but especially when I am feeling extremely sad. I began to notice this happening within a day or two of Danny's passing. That is not to say that it didn't begin earlier, but I didn't notice it. And that is an important statement, because most of this type of stuff is available to all of us but on an inner subtler level and we have to begin to notice it. I understand that my adavntage here is that for 38 years, since the time I was healed by Harry Edwards and his team of healing spirits, I have believed in the presence of spirit. It is my wholehearted belief at this time in my life that personality definitely survives death. So, I am open to it. On the other hand, I am not a gifted psychic and anyone can do this if I can. That said, I will move on.
This is what I began to notice. I was probably thinking of that moment after Jerry kicked the chainlocked door open and we found Danny, dwelling on one of those scenes you should never go to, but know that you will. The pain was so great that I didn't know how I would bear it when I started to hear, "Oh mommy, don't do this to yourself. You're the kindest person I know. Be kinder to yourself. Don't go back there. I'm not there. I wasn't there when you got there. I'm not there now. There's nothing you could have done. This is not your fault. Be kinder to yourself...be kinder". I heard this in my own voice, it's not as if I heard Danny speaking, but I had these thoughts and they comforted me. Not only that, I tried to take the advice and fight the impulse to go back the his apartment in my mind.
I didn't know if this was a message from Dan or if it was from my inner self trying to comfort me but it made me wonder. Danny always used to tell me that I was too kind and that I was the kindest person he knew. I would never have said that to myself. And the message itself was so loving and kind that it made me feel better regardless of where it came from. And, of course, with my background, I'm less inclined than others to doubt it. I know that Danny hasn't been erased from the universe and that he has to be somewhere. I also know that as he is now a spirit without a physical body and I am a spirit in a physical body, and therefore the way we will be able to communicate now is from spirit to spirit where there is receptivity. And to hear the voice of the spirit I would have to listen to what I hear from the inside of myself. I would need to stop looking with my physical eyes for Danny and opening instead to the thoughts and ideas that were appearing on my inner screen.
Whenever I seemed to fall into a deep dark crevace, thoughts of comfort, love and support would enter my mind and I would listen to them and always they made me feel a little better every. Then on July 13, the thoughts were so strong that I felt impelled to write them down. I entitled it:
Words of Wisdom From Dan
You've got to develop a little bit more of the "fuck it" attitude. You can't sweat everything all the time. There is a medium ground between caring and not caring, the middle road where one cares, but not to the point of devastation. You will self destruct. I, in life, leaned too far to the not caring side and therefore could not adaquetly protect myself. You, on the other hand, can swing so far to the caring side that you do the harm to yourself without needing to put anything in your body.
I beg of you to lighten up, for your own sake as well as mine. Remember how you used to say that you are as happy as your most miserable child? Well, your misery can only bring me down because it fills me with remorse. I understand your dilemma but understand mine. If you want to help me, to lift me up, than lift yourself up and you lift us both up. You are a strong woman mom, stronger than you think. Pool all your resources now that have gotten you through in the past. Know that I love you and always will and that you are the one who always said, "Love is the only thing that spans the grave".
There will be time for us to venture forward and for me to join you in your work, as you have always known I would. Give me some time to get my bearings and I will come through for you time and time again. We will grow stronger and in time you will walk with both feet solidly on the ground, knowing that I am by your side at all times.
If you must cry mommy, then cry for all those who are suffering now, they are all over the place; the lost and lonely ones, the poor and hungry ones, the sick and disabled ones, the oppressed and
forsaken ones. Don't cry for me, for I am okay and so are you. This separation, as you see it, is temporary and nothing so tragic has happened here. This is the life we lead, one that incorporates death and surely as it encapsulates birth and one cannot exist without the other.
Go forward in peace and trust that I am with you and that you have not been forsaken, you are only experiencing another facet of life that many have experienced before you and that many shall experience after you, the loss of a child. But those children are only lost to you in the flesh. In spirit each is alive and vital. If only you could see just a small glimpse more than you do. But remember, faith is belief in that which is not visible. If it were self evident, why would there be any need for faith?
I leave you now with the fervent prayer that you rise up and live up to the knowledge that you have worked so hard to cultivate. I know that you will think these are big words for me, but it is your vocabulary that makes this possible. I just send you the impression. You flesh it out in words.
Mommy, I love you more than ever. Can you feel it? Open up your heart and feel it. It is stronger than the pain. Like you always said, love is the strongest, most powerful force in the universe, the only thing that really makes life worth living, SO FEEL IT NOW.
That concludes the Words of Wisdom piece. I have divised a great love exchange exercise that I call "The Love Infusion" which I created shortly after hearing Danny talk about feeling the love between us. I have to end this for now, I will be back soon. Please, let me hear from you.
With love and best wishes,
Sheri
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Hi to all,
This will jsut be a quick blog in order for me to answer the two questions that came in on comments. Ruth, Robert Cook is an astrologer. What I find so interesting is that he could have known so much about Dan when he was given no information about Dan except Dan's birthdate and birthtime. For me, his reading added a dimention to the equation that I had not formerly considered. And it helped me to see all of Dan's difficulties from another perspective entirely. As astrologers go, I know of none better.
And Susie Q, in reference to your question regarding how to support a friend who is approaching the anniversay of her child's death, I will say this: Take the time to be with her. The greatest gift you can give her is the gift of your time and your presense...exactly what you knew I needed so much when Dan passed. Only a few friends, 3 to be exact and you amonst them, really altered their busy schedules, taking a day off work if need be and driving some distance as well, to be with me but those were the people who helped the most. Everyone cares and everyone expresses their condolences but it is the ones who actually sit with you, eat with you and just pass some time with you that allow you to feel supported. It's the most you can do, to make the time, even if you are inconvenienced, to be present in her life. What you two do isn't important, that the time is put aside and freely given, is. The other thing that you can do is make her a memorial for Andrew. You know how to make them because you helped me to design them and they are unique and certainly not something she will find in a store, so if you want to give her a gift, that would be a wonderful gift. But, above all, there is no gift greater than the gift of friendship and your friendship Q, is worth so very much.
Again, I urge all of you reading this to sign in and come forward by telling us about yourself and your child. And keep in mind, you do not have to be a bereaved parent for your comments to have meaning here, so please, if you've got anything to say, SAY IT!
Until later,
Sheri
This will jsut be a quick blog in order for me to answer the two questions that came in on comments. Ruth, Robert Cook is an astrologer. What I find so interesting is that he could have known so much about Dan when he was given no information about Dan except Dan's birthdate and birthtime. For me, his reading added a dimention to the equation that I had not formerly considered. And it helped me to see all of Dan's difficulties from another perspective entirely. As astrologers go, I know of none better.
And Susie Q, in reference to your question regarding how to support a friend who is approaching the anniversay of her child's death, I will say this: Take the time to be with her. The greatest gift you can give her is the gift of your time and your presense...exactly what you knew I needed so much when Dan passed. Only a few friends, 3 to be exact and you amonst them, really altered their busy schedules, taking a day off work if need be and driving some distance as well, to be with me but those were the people who helped the most. Everyone cares and everyone expresses their condolences but it is the ones who actually sit with you, eat with you and just pass some time with you that allow you to feel supported. It's the most you can do, to make the time, even if you are inconvenienced, to be present in her life. What you two do isn't important, that the time is put aside and freely given, is. The other thing that you can do is make her a memorial for Andrew. You know how to make them because you helped me to design them and they are unique and certainly not something she will find in a store, so if you want to give her a gift, that would be a wonderful gift. But, above all, there is no gift greater than the gift of friendship and your friendship Q, is worth so very much.
Again, I urge all of you reading this to sign in and come forward by telling us about yourself and your child. And keep in mind, you do not have to be a bereaved parent for your comments to have meaning here, so please, if you've got anything to say, SAY IT!
Until later,
Sheri
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
What you are reading now is the tail end to the blog posted just before this. I hit the wrong key and the blog posted before I had completely finished. So, please read the long blog before you finish up with this last paragraph.
So, I want to conclude by saying to Roz and to all of you, to know that it wasn't in your power to alter your child's path. If it was, none of our kids would have crossed before us. What we can see and know is only a fraction of what is actually happening and we must try to be gentle with ourselves. Life can be cruel enough without us kicking ourselves in the pants.
For anyone interested in having a reading with Robert Cook his phone number is (631) 367-8021. He will do sessions over the phone and then mail you a cassette or a CD.
Again let me reiterate that I hope to hear from all of you. I believe that we can gain strength from each other through the sharing our experiences. Please sign in, let us know your name, let us know your child's name, let us know your thoughts. Be well,
Love to you all,
Sheri
So, I want to conclude by saying to Roz and to all of you, to know that it wasn't in your power to alter your child's path. If it was, none of our kids would have crossed before us. What we can see and know is only a fraction of what is actually happening and we must try to be gentle with ourselves. Life can be cruel enough without us kicking ourselves in the pants.
For anyone interested in having a reading with Robert Cook his phone number is (631) 367-8021. He will do sessions over the phone and then mail you a cassette or a CD.
Again let me reiterate that I hope to hear from all of you. I believe that we can gain strength from each other through the sharing our experiences. Please sign in, let us know your name, let us know your child's name, let us know your thoughts. Be well,
Love to you all,
Sheri
Hi Everybody,
Although I stated that in my next blog I would write about "The running dialogue that can flood my mind from time to time, but most especially when I am profoundly sad", I am going to respond instead to the last comment that was posted on March 9th by a woman named Roz. Because above all, I want this blog to become an interactive site where we communicate with each other, before going into anything else, I want to address something that Roz wrote about.
Roz was saying that as she gets closer to the date of her son Andrew's death that, "I seem to recall all the events and replay them in my head and think of what I might have done differently that may have saved him, and it's awful to think about when I can't do anything to change it".
I want to address this because it hits a chord in most of us if not in all of us. Especially in cases of overdose or suicide, regret can easily go hand in hand with your daily experience. I have replayed the night that Danny passed a zillion times in my mind. "If we'd only checked on him sooner...if we'd only made him go out to dinner with us that night...if...if...IF! As my late father Herman Perl used to say, "If the queen were the king she'd have balls!" How useless this word "if ", how useless and hurtful and destructive this word "if," how common for us parents to be tortured by this useless word if!
And so I have decided to share something with you that has helped me a greatly when dealing with the "should of, could of would of" kind of mentality. I didn't value astrology all that much as a younger person. I had only been exposed to it in a very general sense and had never had a reading done by a gifted astrologer who worked not only from a birthdate but also a birthtime. I therefore thought of astrology as a kind of playful game.
Enter Robert Cook, by far the best value in town! For a mere $60.00 I gave this brilliant man the birthdates and birthtimes of myself, Jerry and our 3 kids and a month later he described each of them with such complete accuracy that I was astounded! My first reading was 5 years ago when Danny was approximately 17. At the time, Bob described Danny's personality and life challenges so accurately that my first reaction was relief because it was obvious that these issues HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!
The following is an excerpt from my last Bob Cook reading which took place in January of 2008, 6 months before Danny died on July 1, 2008. I found the CD about a month after Dan's death while unpacking some boxes and was again shocked by it's uncanny accuracy, in this case, almost predicting what was to come. And all this derrived from nothing more than birthdates and birthtimes? It makes you think.
Astrological Reading with Robert Cook January 8, 2008
You're concerned about Daniel. His moon is in Aquarius and he's a Pisces rising. He has a very intense chart, this kid. He's a Pluto kid shich means he comes from some challenging beginnings....a bit of an abgry fellow and between Pluto which smolders and the Uranus at the top, he's a bit of a character, he's got a complicated nature about him. I am concerned about a couple of things here because he's born with so much Neptune, which is the substance abuse and he has a lackadaisical attitude that's the Neptune. It's nice later in life to make adjustments to make your life easier. Neptune has very little tolerance for dealing with discomfots so they always run to substances. The change how they feel but they don't really change anything about their life. They move towards substances. They love to get high and their judgments can be terribly flawed. They just make bad decisions. And this Uranus up at the top makes him pretty ungovernable because they have that attitude of "I'm going to do what I am going to do" and that's it. The don't seem to have any remorse for anything that they actually do so there's a problematic attitude. They meet up with a few low lifes along the way, so he's drawn to the underworld. It is very difficult to lead a legitimate life, if you will. Taking part in the world, that is very difficult to do and what I'm particularly concerned about over the next year is that Neptune is REALLY going to be coming to town. Neptune's going to be sitting on top of his moon which for somebody else would be a very inspiring, creative beautiful moment. For him it could be a time of major substance abuse. He has to be careful of becoming undone or doing something really stupid, a bad experience, or doing something that just really shoots himself in the foot. It's also possible because of the Neptune Moon, because the moon is like home, especially my family, especially my mother. She may be getting a little fed up with the whole thing and with the Neptune Moon, therfore he can end up feeling kicked out or cast adrift or cast out because sometimes with Neptune Moon we lost our hope. We lose our roots. We lose our connection. A lot of people feel rootless with Neptune Moon. There may be some adjustment in the situation next year. He might just decide to tak off and go who know where. With Neptune Moon he could be a vagabond. He hasn't even begun. It's going to get very strong over the next year and you have to be very careful to keep him from coming apart. It can also be a time when he can make some really horrible decisions and really REALLY it's like come apart at the seams. And the other stuff is the twelfth house stuff where if you don't get your stuff together there is the possibility of incarceration. Whether you jsut feel imprisoned in your life or imprisoned in your home, or literally you are in prison, it's like drifting. It's like you're jsut coming undone. He has a ways to go Sher. I think the worst is still to come. This is a Neptune Moon which is a terrible aspect of self undoing...total fragility. It can affect his health, terrible judgments...well, we'll see. That's Daniel. Good Luck.
At first after listening to the CD I thought, "If I was forewarned and was still unable to stop it, what's the good in knowing this? But I came to see that the real benefit to me was that I was able to glimpse the bigger picture of what Danny was dealing with, and that changed my perspective.
As parents we feel this overwhelming responsibility to keep our kids lives on track. It's built into the system to overidentify with our children and to feel that their shortcomings and failures reflect on us. Those of us who have challenging children often feel as if we belong in the dog house along with our wayward kids. After getting a glimpse into Danny's chart, all of that changed! I realized that he was a hero! He had to live out that chart which was laden with issues . It dawned on me that the so called "gifted children" didn't have anything over my Dan. They came into the world that way...they had it easy! Pavarotti may have worked very hard on his singing career but he was born with the gift of a golden voice! All of a sudden I realized that the picture is much bigger than what I wanted for Dan and that I must have a mighty big ego to believe that through my love and desire I could alter the course of his chart.
Although I stated that in my next blog I would write about "The running dialogue that can flood my mind from time to time, but most especially when I am profoundly sad", I am going to respond instead to the last comment that was posted on March 9th by a woman named Roz. Because above all, I want this blog to become an interactive site where we communicate with each other, before going into anything else, I want to address something that Roz wrote about.
Roz was saying that as she gets closer to the date of her son Andrew's death that, "I seem to recall all the events and replay them in my head and think of what I might have done differently that may have saved him, and it's awful to think about when I can't do anything to change it".
I want to address this because it hits a chord in most of us if not in all of us. Especially in cases of overdose or suicide, regret can easily go hand in hand with your daily experience. I have replayed the night that Danny passed a zillion times in my mind. "If we'd only checked on him sooner...if we'd only made him go out to dinner with us that night...if...if...IF! As my late father Herman Perl used to say, "If the queen were the king she'd have balls!" How useless this word "if ", how useless and hurtful and destructive this word "if," how common for us parents to be tortured by this useless word if!
And so I have decided to share something with you that has helped me a greatly when dealing with the "should of, could of would of" kind of mentality. I didn't value astrology all that much as a younger person. I had only been exposed to it in a very general sense and had never had a reading done by a gifted astrologer who worked not only from a birthdate but also a birthtime. I therefore thought of astrology as a kind of playful game.
Enter Robert Cook, by far the best value in town! For a mere $60.00 I gave this brilliant man the birthdates and birthtimes of myself, Jerry and our 3 kids and a month later he described each of them with such complete accuracy that I was astounded! My first reading was 5 years ago when Danny was approximately 17. At the time, Bob described Danny's personality and life challenges so accurately that my first reaction was relief because it was obvious that these issues HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!
The following is an excerpt from my last Bob Cook reading which took place in January of 2008, 6 months before Danny died on July 1, 2008. I found the CD about a month after Dan's death while unpacking some boxes and was again shocked by it's uncanny accuracy, in this case, almost predicting what was to come. And all this derrived from nothing more than birthdates and birthtimes? It makes you think.
Astrological Reading with Robert Cook January 8, 2008
You're concerned about Daniel. His moon is in Aquarius and he's a Pisces rising. He has a very intense chart, this kid. He's a Pluto kid shich means he comes from some challenging beginnings....a bit of an abgry fellow and between Pluto which smolders and the Uranus at the top, he's a bit of a character, he's got a complicated nature about him. I am concerned about a couple of things here because he's born with so much Neptune, which is the substance abuse and he has a lackadaisical attitude that's the Neptune. It's nice later in life to make adjustments to make your life easier. Neptune has very little tolerance for dealing with discomfots so they always run to substances. The change how they feel but they don't really change anything about their life. They move towards substances. They love to get high and their judgments can be terribly flawed. They just make bad decisions. And this Uranus up at the top makes him pretty ungovernable because they have that attitude of "I'm going to do what I am going to do" and that's it. The don't seem to have any remorse for anything that they actually do so there's a problematic attitude. They meet up with a few low lifes along the way, so he's drawn to the underworld. It is very difficult to lead a legitimate life, if you will. Taking part in the world, that is very difficult to do and what I'm particularly concerned about over the next year is that Neptune is REALLY going to be coming to town. Neptune's going to be sitting on top of his moon which for somebody else would be a very inspiring, creative beautiful moment. For him it could be a time of major substance abuse. He has to be careful of becoming undone or doing something really stupid, a bad experience, or doing something that just really shoots himself in the foot. It's also possible because of the Neptune Moon, because the moon is like home, especially my family, especially my mother. She may be getting a little fed up with the whole thing and with the Neptune Moon, therfore he can end up feeling kicked out or cast adrift or cast out because sometimes with Neptune Moon we lost our hope. We lose our roots. We lose our connection. A lot of people feel rootless with Neptune Moon. There may be some adjustment in the situation next year. He might just decide to tak off and go who know where. With Neptune Moon he could be a vagabond. He hasn't even begun. It's going to get very strong over the next year and you have to be very careful to keep him from coming apart. It can also be a time when he can make some really horrible decisions and really REALLY it's like come apart at the seams. And the other stuff is the twelfth house stuff where if you don't get your stuff together there is the possibility of incarceration. Whether you jsut feel imprisoned in your life or imprisoned in your home, or literally you are in prison, it's like drifting. It's like you're jsut coming undone. He has a ways to go Sher. I think the worst is still to come. This is a Neptune Moon which is a terrible aspect of self undoing...total fragility. It can affect his health, terrible judgments...well, we'll see. That's Daniel. Good Luck.
At first after listening to the CD I thought, "If I was forewarned and was still unable to stop it, what's the good in knowing this? But I came to see that the real benefit to me was that I was able to glimpse the bigger picture of what Danny was dealing with, and that changed my perspective.
As parents we feel this overwhelming responsibility to keep our kids lives on track. It's built into the system to overidentify with our children and to feel that their shortcomings and failures reflect on us. Those of us who have challenging children often feel as if we belong in the dog house along with our wayward kids. After getting a glimpse into Danny's chart, all of that changed! I realized that he was a hero! He had to live out that chart which was laden with issues . It dawned on me that the so called "gifted children" didn't have anything over my Dan. They came into the world that way...they had it easy! Pavarotti may have worked very hard on his singing career but he was born with the gift of a golden voice! All of a sudden I realized that the picture is much bigger than what I wanted for Dan and that I must have a mighty big ego to believe that through my love and desire I could alter the course of his chart.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Good morning,
Those of you who have read my book, "Healing From the Inside Out" know of my high regard for Harry Edwards, the man whose gift of healing helped me to recover from severe illness. This was in 1970, when I was 20 years old and only beginning to consider the possibilities of a spirit realm as a result of this healing experience. Harry always claimed that he didn't work alone but was assisted by "spirit doctors", and so this put me on the trail. I became very interested in mediums and the amount of evidence they produced regarding the continuation of existence in another realm. I was and still am absolutely fascinated with it and yes, I do now believe that personality definitely survives death.
What I want to share with you today is something that Harry had written about in his books. He used to say that there was an even greater purpose to spiritual healing than healing the sick and that was to demonstrate to all mankind that they were in part spirit now. He explained that in order for any transmitter to successfully transmit something, there must be a receiver of the same frequency to receive it. For me to be able to receive and respond to energy directed to me from spirit, I would have to have a spirit component within myself capable of receiving the energy. As a result of this, I began to understand that the difference between me and the spirit doctors was that I was a spirit within a body and they were spirits without bodies. But the common thread was spirit.
I realize now that the best way I can have a relationship with Danny is to seek him through my spirit. My physical eyes will not see him but I can connect up with him through that common thread of spirit. And I believe that spirit speaks to us through many means. Through thoughts, feelings, dreams, intuitions, impulses, everything interior and of a spiritual nature, I can connect up with Dan. Healing From the Inside Out refers to healing that originates on the inside, on the spiritual level and works its way out into the physical. At one time I only conceived of this in terms of healing the physical body, but now I see that it is healing me again, in helping me to feel, hear and be connected to Danny now.
In my next post I will write about the running dialogue that can flood my mind from time to time, but most especially when I am profoundly sad.
Please consider opening a free gmail account so that you can add all the comments you want on this site. There are so many of us out there, let's open up the conversation! If you want to write to me, I can be emailed at either sheriperl@aol.com or sheriperl@gmail.com
Be well,
Love,
Sheri
Those of you who have read my book, "Healing From the Inside Out" know of my high regard for Harry Edwards, the man whose gift of healing helped me to recover from severe illness. This was in 1970, when I was 20 years old and only beginning to consider the possibilities of a spirit realm as a result of this healing experience. Harry always claimed that he didn't work alone but was assisted by "spirit doctors", and so this put me on the trail. I became very interested in mediums and the amount of evidence they produced regarding the continuation of existence in another realm. I was and still am absolutely fascinated with it and yes, I do now believe that personality definitely survives death.
What I want to share with you today is something that Harry had written about in his books. He used to say that there was an even greater purpose to spiritual healing than healing the sick and that was to demonstrate to all mankind that they were in part spirit now. He explained that in order for any transmitter to successfully transmit something, there must be a receiver of the same frequency to receive it. For me to be able to receive and respond to energy directed to me from spirit, I would have to have a spirit component within myself capable of receiving the energy. As a result of this, I began to understand that the difference between me and the spirit doctors was that I was a spirit within a body and they were spirits without bodies. But the common thread was spirit.
I realize now that the best way I can have a relationship with Danny is to seek him through my spirit. My physical eyes will not see him but I can connect up with him through that common thread of spirit. And I believe that spirit speaks to us through many means. Through thoughts, feelings, dreams, intuitions, impulses, everything interior and of a spiritual nature, I can connect up with Dan. Healing From the Inside Out refers to healing that originates on the inside, on the spiritual level and works its way out into the physical. At one time I only conceived of this in terms of healing the physical body, but now I see that it is healing me again, in helping me to feel, hear and be connected to Danny now.
In my next post I will write about the running dialogue that can flood my mind from time to time, but most especially when I am profoundly sad.
Please consider opening a free gmail account so that you can add all the comments you want on this site. There are so many of us out there, let's open up the conversation! If you want to write to me, I can be emailed at either sheriperl@aol.com or sheriperl@gmail.com
Be well,
Love,
Sheri
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Hi again,
Many of you have expressed having difficulty posting comments. This is what I have figured out. If you want to post a comment go first to the home page and look in the left hand margin for something that reads: Follow and connect with your friends---Google friend connect. If you hit on that you can open a free google (gmail) account by providing a user name and a password. It takes two seconds and I am told that gmail has less spam! Then you write your comments and just below the comment box it says: Comment as: and there is an arrow and you are to hit on the arrow to select a profile. You will select google and because you now have a google account you can use your new user name and password.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
First greeting
Hi and good morning to all,
Thank you for your time and interest in my blog. I am hoping that this blog will bring many of us together to share our experiences with each other. Although anyone is welcome to read and comment on this site, primarily I am reaching out to other parents who, like myself, have lost a child.
My beautiful boy Danny died last summer on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old and died of an overdose of prescriptions drugs and alcohol. Needless-to-say, we miss him everyday and only wish we could have kept him with us longer. I don't have to tell you what this feels like, for the pain is known all too well by all of us. However, that is not why I have started this blog. Although it is a large part of what motivates me, there are countless support groups for the sharing of pain and loss. This network is for parents who are interested in what I call, "Connecting up" and by that I mean interested in connecting with their child. This can be done through numerous means and I am not just referring to sitting with mediums, as valuable as that is. For those who are willing to consider the possibility that the essense of their child has not been destroyed and that their personality may have survived death, there is a way to open the channels that will allow you to have a relationship with your child. Not a physical one, that aspect of the relationship is over. Our children are no longer in physical bodies, but they have not been erased from the universe either. We simply have to learn to seek them where they dwell.
They exist now in a realm of spirit. We can connect up with them because we are also spirit now, while still in physical bodies. In my next blog I will write about how I know that I am, in part, spirit and why there is receptivity. I will also share my belief that our children are as greatly benefitted and uplifted by these connections as we are!
Please, sign your name, say hello. Lets us know your child's name a little about him or her. Share yourself and your experiences with me and others, for we are stronger together. I welcome you.
Thank you for your time and interest in my blog. I am hoping that this blog will bring many of us together to share our experiences with each other. Although anyone is welcome to read and comment on this site, primarily I am reaching out to other parents who, like myself, have lost a child.
My beautiful boy Danny died last summer on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old and died of an overdose of prescriptions drugs and alcohol. Needless-to-say, we miss him everyday and only wish we could have kept him with us longer. I don't have to tell you what this feels like, for the pain is known all too well by all of us. However, that is not why I have started this blog. Although it is a large part of what motivates me, there are countless support groups for the sharing of pain and loss. This network is for parents who are interested in what I call, "Connecting up" and by that I mean interested in connecting with their child. This can be done through numerous means and I am not just referring to sitting with mediums, as valuable as that is. For those who are willing to consider the possibility that the essense of their child has not been destroyed and that their personality may have survived death, there is a way to open the channels that will allow you to have a relationship with your child. Not a physical one, that aspect of the relationship is over. Our children are no longer in physical bodies, but they have not been erased from the universe either. We simply have to learn to seek them where they dwell.
They exist now in a realm of spirit. We can connect up with them because we are also spirit now, while still in physical bodies. In my next blog I will write about how I know that I am, in part, spirit and why there is receptivity. I will also share my belief that our children are as greatly benefitted and uplifted by these connections as we are!
Please, sign your name, say hello. Lets us know your child's name a little about him or her. Share yourself and your experiences with me and others, for we are stronger together. I welcome you.
First Greeting
Hi and greetings to all,
Thank you for your time and interest in my blog. I am hoping that this blog will bring many of us together to share our experiences with each other. Although anyone is welcome to read and comment on this site, primarily I am reaching out to other parents who, like myself, have lost a child.
My beautiful son Danny died last summer on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old and died from an overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. Needless-to-say, we miss him everyday and only wish we could have kept him with us longer. I don't have to tell you what this feels like, for the pain is known all too well by all of us. However, that is not why I am starting this blog. Although it is a large part of what motivates me, there are countless support groups for the sharing of pain and loss. This network is for parents who are interested in what I call "Connecting up" and by that I mean interested in connecting with their child. This can be done through numerous means and I am not just referring to sitting with mediums, as valuable as that is. For those who are willing to consider the possibility that the essence of their child has not been destroyed, and that their unique personality may have survived death, there is a way to open the channels that will allow you to have a relationship with your child. Not a physical one, that aspect of the relationship is over. Our children are no longer in physical bodies, but they have not been erased from the universe either! We simply have to learn to seek them where they dwell.
They exist now is a realm of spirit. We can connect up with them because we are also spirit now, while still in our physical bodies. In my next blog I will write about how I know that I am in part spirit and why there is receptivity. I will also share my belief that our children are as greatly benefitted and uplifted by these connections as we are.
Please sign your name and say hello! Let us know your child's name and a little bit about him or her. Share yourself and your experiences with me and others, for we are stronger together. I welcome you!
Sheri
Thank you for your time and interest in my blog. I am hoping that this blog will bring many of us together to share our experiences with each other. Although anyone is welcome to read and comment on this site, primarily I am reaching out to other parents who, like myself, have lost a child.
My beautiful son Danny died last summer on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old and died from an overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. Needless-to-say, we miss him everyday and only wish we could have kept him with us longer. I don't have to tell you what this feels like, for the pain is known all too well by all of us. However, that is not why I am starting this blog. Although it is a large part of what motivates me, there are countless support groups for the sharing of pain and loss. This network is for parents who are interested in what I call "Connecting up" and by that I mean interested in connecting with their child. This can be done through numerous means and I am not just referring to sitting with mediums, as valuable as that is. For those who are willing to consider the possibility that the essence of their child has not been destroyed, and that their unique personality may have survived death, there is a way to open the channels that will allow you to have a relationship with your child. Not a physical one, that aspect of the relationship is over. Our children are no longer in physical bodies, but they have not been erased from the universe either! We simply have to learn to seek them where they dwell.
They exist now is a realm of spirit. We can connect up with them because we are also spirit now, while still in our physical bodies. In my next blog I will write about how I know that I am in part spirit and why there is receptivity. I will also share my belief that our children are as greatly benefitted and uplifted by these connections as we are.
Please sign your name and say hello! Let us know your child's name and a little bit about him or her. Share yourself and your experiences with me and others, for we are stronger together. I welcome you!
Sheri
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